Can Saying Sorry Help Men Be happier?
Unintentionally, I’ve hurt people’s feelings. People close to me personally and professionally. I know my actions strained the relationship and dreadful consequences or worse, the end of a friendship might ensue. That is if I don’t do something to solve the situation. Most of us have experienced this at one time or another in our lives. Managing the people in your life is one of the most demanding jobs you’ll ever come across.
The longer you live the more people you’ll encounter. Every person you’ll assemble and decorate your life with will sooner or later do something unexpectedly which may put you into a possible emotional conflict. Having the right tools of forgiveness may save a valuable relationship. For many men leaning to say you’re sorry will help prevent the guilt and shame which is the byproduct of ego and self-righteousness.
I'll toss and turn thinking about the matter for days. It’s like once the situation has it claws locked onto my brain there’s no letting go. It’s time for me to get clear on who’s running this show, my ten-story ego or my heart and mind?
Our most important commodity is our professional and personal lives in not our stuff but our relationships. When a heated exchange happens always remember the facts don’t matter. It’s how the other person feels, which is what matters most.
Men have a high threshold on what we deem harmful behavior and will rationalize with every fiber of their being whether or not we’re at fault?
Therefore, many men absolve themselves of all responsibility in calculating their part in the upset and the episode. As Guy Winch Ph.D said “apologies represent a major threat to their basic sense of identity and self-esteem”.
As good catholic boy I learned early to say I was sorry for screwing up. However, later as a young man I learned sorry was the worse thing I could possible do. This included situations involving a lover, a car accident, boss, family or any situation where sorry could incriminate me or leave me ultimately vulnerable in a situation. It appears many men have subscribed to reframing from the understanding the power of sorry and are inevitably suffering.
Unlike men, women are much more likely to heal interpersonal relationships with sorry as a useful tool. Men it’s time to rethink how we handle these touchy relationship conundrums thereby ending this ridiculous cycle of thinking SORRY is a heavy burden. Not apologizing is the heaviest of burdens one can carry.
Men you will have so much more room for success in your everyday life by taking steps to use tools, such as apologies. Why? Because deep down inside you know when your behavior is bad. Sorry will alleviate so much stress and therefore make your life much better allowing you to sleep, think, and work better toward building worthwhile relationships which last a lifetime.
#1. First understand you’re 100 percent responsible for every situation in your life. No exceptions! No matter how twisted reality may appear. This is your life and it was created by you for you. This is the first big pill to swallow to reach enlightenment.
#2. Knowing your 100 percent responsible which means damage control is in your hands. Suck it up boys and call a meeting between you and the person the issue is with. It’s time to offer an olive branch
#3. This can be as simple as sitting down across the table and explaining you’re sorry for the way things unfolded and asking them to forgive you or it may take a life coach to be between you two to make sure everyone remains calm cool and collected.
#4. Make sure you understand between the two of you what you’ve both garnered from this unfortunate experience so it is not repeated again. This will allow this troubling situation to be of great worth to both of you. This was not a waste of time at all, instead it was a gift. It’s a stackable brink onto your wealth of life’s lessons. Now you’ve mastered another degree of success.
#5. Shake hands or hug depending on what’s appropriate for this relationship and start fresh.
Men by taking these examples you can head back into the game with some self-respect and dignity. These principles are steeped in spiritual principles and will help ensure you gain back your mojo.
Now please if this blog has help you in some way leave a comment and share it with your whole universe. This will help me reach more people and restore more relationships. Also please subscribe to this blog for up and coming insights to making life more fabulous.
Peace CH